This Christmas I have:
• Eaten very little except breakfast cereal and pickled onions, which makes me fear I may be pregnant
• Become mainly nocturnal
• Enjoyed driving through a central London with no buses or pedestrians, as a result of working both Christmas Day and Boxing Day
• Showed great forebearance when faced with a staff restaurant where absolutely everything was free on Christmas Day, and only took one bar of chocolate with my bagel
• Made it all the way through to Boxing Day before finally dissolving in tears at Fairytale of New York