And Then He Said

Things have been inevitably getting rather sketchy in this journal recently – I say inevitably because I've barely stopped moving long enough to process what's been going on, let alone write about it. And that's not about to stop. Tomorrow morning we're off to spend a few days on the boat – which should be…

Note to self, following yesterday's death-by-irritation saga: Next time I want to buy a printer cartridge I will: 1. Take my phone with me, to explain why a half-hour errand is taking two and a half. 2. Not, in fact, leave my phone at work the previous night, necessitating a special visit there today when…

My route into work doesn't go by Buckingham Palace, so I missed all the drama. I go right past on the way home, however, and was amused to see the place crawling with coppers pottering up and down along the front and side – because, of course, there's just bound to be a repeat incident…

In early October we venture off on our annual expedition on the South West Coast Path. We’ve been plugging away at it in stages since 1997, and this year we plan to walk from Falmouth to Plymouth. To be honest, though, we’re a bit out of practice. And, in my case at least, out of…

Weight unknown (bathroom scales removed from bathroom by parents since childhood, v welcome surprise), cigarettes 0 (still – good), alcohol units 0 (was driving), chocolate-scented plush teddy bears bought 1 (was utterly adorable, could not avoid, also was remaindered so in fact excellent value for money and therefore a good thing), Cadbury's Dairy Milk Wafer…

Despite the fact that I'm currently working on the website of a national newspaper – am, in fact, sitting at this moment in its offices waiting for the final edition sports pages to drop – I no longer consider myself a reporter. A journalist, perhaps, since that's a statement of vocation like saying you're a…

Tonight I almost killed a girl. I was driving up The Mall, just after Admiralty Arch towards Buckingham Palace. It's a dark road at night – it's designed for ceremonial processions and lacks such unaesthetic civilities as street lights and cats eyes. It also lacks white lines to mark off the lanes and if I'm…

I don't know what the ugliest building in London is, but surely the most tasteless is Harrods. Passing it on the way to work at about 7.30pm it was all lit up with strings of bulbs, which sounds like it ought to have been appealing but was actually quite tacky. They were sickly yellowy-white and…

So yesterday we went to Pells Pool, an unheated open air swimming pool in Lewes, Sussex. Any colder and you could have sat on the surface and cut a hole in it to fish through. Nevertheless, it was a fine experience, in which the small amount of swimming done (I am no expert) was a…