And Then He Said

Well, that was exciting. There's a fire alarm test every Thursday, so early that I'm never here for it, but today isn't Thursday and the alarm went off anyway. So we all trooped outside and huddled in the square, getting gently watered by the rain. Just at the point we were starting to grumble about…

Well, it's done. I've e-mailed off my entry to the BBC Canterbury Tales writing competition. Now we just sit back and see. The only previous time I entered a writing competition I won a national commendation. Mind you, I was about 14 at the time so I dare say I'm a bit rusty. I've posted…

…but it's bloody hard not to. Discworld: Which Ankh-Morpork City Watch Character are YOU?brought to you by Quizilla

Am trying to remember the last time I ate a bar of chocolate, and I can't. It may be something approaching a month ago. I find this astonishing, as until then I was capable of knocking three bars off in a single day. In other news, I would very much prefer to be asleep at…

Weekends represent warfare for me. On the one side is the part of me that says ‘it’s the weekend, dammit – slob out, you’ve earned it’. This is the part of me that fancies a lie-in until 11am, followed by a leisurely potter about and breakfast that takes me to 1pm, followed by a day…

Phone conversation this evening: Caller: Age Concern! Me: Are you? Caller: Age Concern! Me: Are you? Caller: Age Concern? Me: I'm not – are you? Caller: I have a wrong number. *rings off* ————– Clement Freud on Have I Got News For You this week, talking about the Betsy Duncan Smith 'scandal': “When I was…

Things are heating up at work… we're being asked to volunteer to work evenings and weekends until deadline (for extra money, of course). No pressure – quite genuinely – but it's a rare sign of urgency in a very relaxed environment.

Everyone has a subject on which they get boring and prone to pinning people in corners at parties and droning on at them. Mine – one of mine – is the sheer bloody brilliance of the Human League. We picked up a copy of their 'very best of' DVD when we were on holiday and…

You hear that low rumbling growling noise? It's my stomach. Carrots just don't cut it. I brought some alcoholic fudge back from Corwall for the office and everyone – well, almost everyone – is happily munching on it. Just two of us are virtuously abstaining. But on the plus side, we had a normal evening…